


Like Hope

by Wagnetic



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Ficlet, Gen, Hope, Inspiration, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 12:25:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10100738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wagnetic/pseuds/Wagnetic
Summary: Yuuri gets bored of being depressed.





	

It’s Yuuri’s third day back in Hasetsu after the disaster that’s been his life since his meltdown in Sochi. And he’s planning on spending it hiding under the covers. Mari and his mother have been trying to pry him out of his room but… Nope. Yuuri is _not_ going out there. No way.

The worst thing is that people keep trying to console him. It’s bad enough dealing with those comments on twitter without having to get through it in person as well. Yuuri knows that they mean well, but at this point the least helpful thing someone can say to him is, “You’ll do better next time.”

He’ll have the chance to do local competitions again at the least, but those aren’t the ones that matter to him. What he really wants is the gold at the Grand Prix Final, and for all he knows, there won’t even _be_ a next time for that. There’s a very real possibility that this was his only chance at the GPF, and he screwed it up. Maybe he’ll just quit after all.

When Yuuri feels this bad, the thing that’s most likely to help is going through compulsory figures. The feeling of moving over the ice in the same instinctive patterns he’s practiced since he was a kid puts him into some kind of anti-anxiety trance where he doesn’t have to deal with his mess of a brain anymore. There’s just him and the ice.

Today, he doesn’t think he could get into that trance, and if he can’t, maybe he’ll always remember that it didn’t work and figures will never work again. He can’t risk losing that, even if he could bring himself to go to Ice Castle.

Yuuri flops back onto his bed and stares at the ceiling. “What the hell am I going to do now?” he says to no one in particular. He’d like to take a nap, but he’s restless after spending so much time indoors. He closes his eyes and thinks about when he first knew that skating would become his whole life.

He can still see it perfectly. There’s Viktor Nikiforov in his costume from his Junior Worlds win in Bulgaria. His hair is streaming behind him, his face is full of determination and hope, and his potential is limitless. He’s beautiful, like the first fall of snow. Beautiful like a new beginning.

Yuuri remembers being twelve years old and trying to skate Viktor’s programs with Yuuko, inspired by the two people he admired most. He was full of potential too, in those moments. If he’s ever going to have another shot at winning gold at the Grand Prix Final, he has to feel something like that again.

He thinks of Viktor skating Stammi Vicino. He didn’t see the performance in Sochi, which is just one more thing that went wrong. Yuuri hates missing a chance to see Viktor skate in person, and that routine is one of his favorites. It does give him an idea, though. The opening is a perfect reflection of longing and reaching, and emotions too strong to bear alone. Then as the song progresses and Viktor jumps and spins, something changes. With the swelling of the music, there’s a rush of rising, aching hope.

Yuuri sits up, and he doesn’t smile, but he can feel a little spark in his chest. He’s going to remember why he fell in love with the ice. Yuuri rolls out of bed and starts packing his skate bag.


End file.
